It Happened One Day
by Soap1
Summary: Sirius once kissed me.  I've thought about it every day since.  Please, Sirius.  Kiss me again.  RemusSirius slash!  Very smutty!
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

It happened just once. And that was a long time ago. Back when we were at Hogwarts. I didn't even know what to say, how to react. I wish that I had.

_Fifth Year_

"Hey, Moony!" said Sirius happily as he bounded onto his friend's bed.

"Padfoot," I replied sleepily.

"Feeling alright this morning?" Sirius asked.

I stretched and nodded.

"Fine, but I think I gave myself another scar," I said.

I unbuttoned the top button of my nightshirt and pulled back the collar, leaning into Sirius to show him the long, deep cut that now stretched across my shoulder. He peered in close at it, touching it lightly with his fingertips.

It happened without any warning.

Sirius leaned in and kissed it. And then, he kissed me. His lips were pressing eagerly against mine, his tongue darting into my mouth. I was so shocked, I let it continue for a moment, but then I pulled away hastily and leapt up from the bed.

"What was that?!" I exclaimed, panting nervously.

Sirius stammered something and turned a very deep shade of red.

"I'm not gay!" I cried, backing away from the bed.

Sirius buried his face in his hands.

"Merlin, I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed now," he said quietly.

I stared at him for a long time before cautiously taking a step back toward the bed. I placed a nervous hand on his shoulder and he lifted his head from his hands and looked up at me.

"It's okay," I said quietly.

"Can we ever be friends again?" asked Sirius.

"Of course," I replied.

_Present_

After that, Sirius had dated every girl at Hogwarts. Maybe not every single one, but all of the girls older than fourteen who were half-decent looking and not in Slytherin. Alright, some of the Slytherins, too. He never mentioned "the incident". In fact, after that day, he hardly talked to me, and _never_ spent time with me alone. Ever. If I walked into the dormitory when he was in there alone, he'd walk out. Or go find James or Peter. No one else really noticed, it didn't seem all that strange to the others. But I hated it.

I hated it because I had been wrong.

I _was_ gay. All I could think about was that kiss, the way his beautiful, soft lips felt against mine. The way his body's warmth felt pressed against me. And I wanted to get Sirius on his own so I could tell him that. But it never happened.

And now, he lives alone at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. I come over every chance I get, but if I catch him on his own, he floos someone to come over, or calls Kreacher into the room. When we have Order meetings, he flirts with every girl who isn't Molly or Tonks. And I suspect the only reason he doesn't flirt with Tonks is because they're related.

It was one of those Order meetings. The kids were all off to school already. There was a petite, blonde-haired Auror joining them at the table, one of Tonks's friends. Sirius was making eyes at her, and she was making eyes back. His chair was leaning back on two legs, the way it always did when he was trying to show off. Sirius didn't even think about it anymore; he showed off without even realizing it. I guess years of doing so would ingrain it as a habit.

"Sirius!" admonished Molly, thumping him on the head. "Pay attention!"

Sirius groaned and rubbed the top of his head. He glanced over at me with a wry sort of smile. I shrugged and chuckled under my breath. I had to turn away. Those grey eyes of his were cutting into my soul.

_Merlin, don't look at me like that, Sirius, _I thought to myself. _Look over at that blonde girl if you're going to look at someone._

Sirius complied, and I half wondered if I had voiced my thoughts aloud. The blonde was giggling at him. I sighed. Still, every time I looked at him, I remembered the kiss. I would let my eyes stare at his full, pink lips. My gaze would travel down his muscular arms, his defined chest. And then I'd catch my eyes starting to drift lower, and I would straighten up and shake my head at my indecence.

The Order was dissipating. The meeting was over, but Sirius took the blonde's arm and whispered something in her ear. She was going to stay. I swallowed hard.

"Mind if I stay over for a minute and have a glass or two of firewhiskey?" I asked, terrified that my voice would crack in nervousness.

"Not at all," said Sirius with a wave of his hand.

I pulled out a glass and started to grab for another, but Sirius had already disappeared from the room, blonde girl in tow. I shook my head as I poured a shot for myself.

_Remus, you old reprobate, what did you think he was going to do?_ I admonished myself. _Send the pretty blonde home and lick firewhiskey from your navel?_

The thought of that sent a shudder down my spine. I took a deep pull from the firewhiskey bottle, ignoring the glass in front of me that I had just poured, and then, for some strange reason, I walked toward the stairs. I ascended them. Some invisible string was pulling me toward Sirius's bedroom. I paused in front of the door. I heard the whimper of a young woman.

I could see it in my head. Sirius was known far and wide for his skills in the bedroom. The man was a dynamo. Her whimpers were escalating. I wondered what he was doing to make her cry in that way. Was his face buried between her legs? Was his cock thrusting deep inside her? I could feel my own cock stirring as I imagined it. I let my hand travel lower, lightly brushing against the bulge in my pants. The sound of a strangled cry came from the bedroom. That time it was Sirius. A groan left my throat.

_Merlin, Sirius, do you try to ignore your homosexuality? Do you try to escape it by taking women to bed? Does it work for you? Because I've tried it, and the only thing I can ever think about is you_, I thought, my hand involuntarily brushing against my growing erection once again.

The pace from inside Sirius's bedroom was getting faster, more feverish. The girl's cries were mingling with Sirius's. I wondered if he even knew her name.

"Fuck, Jessie, I'm going to come," hissed Sirius hoarsely.

That answered that question. Two mingled cries of ecstasy reached my ears. They would both be panting now, her legs wrapped around his hips. I walked back down the stairs, willing my erection to subside, but the thoughts of _my_ legs wrapped around his hips kept it from obeying. I downed more firewhiskey.

A few minutes later, Sirius and Jessie walked downstairs. He didn't notice me. Sirius gave her a quick kiss goodbye and she left.

_Do you always send them home so quickly?_ I asked Sirius in my head.

Sirius took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen, and seeing me startled him.

"Oh, I thought you'd be gone by now," said Sirius.

It sounded harsh to my ears, though he probably hadn't meant it that way.

"Just having a quick drink or two," I said.

_Or six_, my mind added.

I filled a second glass and slid it his way. Sirius looked nervous. He glanced toward the staircase.

"Just stay. Have one drink with me," I said, gazing at his grey eyes. "Please."

Sirius seemed reluctant, but he sat down on one of the bar stools anyway. He took a sip from the glass, smacking his lips together at the fiery taste. I could practically feel the burn of firewhiskey in his mouth. I wanted to taste it on his lips.

"How've you been?" I asked, trying to fill the silence with anything.

"Lonely," Sirius replied honestly.

"Birds like Jessie don't provide enough company?" I joked.

Sirius laughed.

_Please, tell me that a bird can never keep you company. Tell me you don't even like women. Tell me you still prefer blokes,_ I thought desperately.

"They're fine," he replied.

He took another sip from his glass and started to stand, to leave the room.

"Wait," I said.

Sirius sunk back down in his chair, staring at me curiously. I tried to read more into his deep, grey eyes than was probably there. Those eyes were so empty, ever since he came back from Azkaban. Come to think of it, they had been empty ever since the kiss.

"Sirius," I began, but I didn't know where to start.

He cocked his head to one side and the corner of his mouth twitched into a half smile. My insides tied into a knot. I chuckled half-heartedly at him.

_You have no idea what that little half-smile does to me, _I thought.

"Sirius, do you remember . . . that day?" I asked quietly.

"Which one?" he asked.

Merlin, I hadn't been ready for that question. I thought it was completely obvious. All other days of my life paled in comparison to _that day_. I took a deep breath. My voice was so quiet even I could barely hear it.

"The day you kissed me," I whispered.

Sirius tensed. His face was inscrutable. He looked as though he was ready to bolt any second. I searched for the right words.

"I think about that day a lot," I admitted.

Sirius shifted uncomfortably in his seat. His features were set in a stone cold glare.

_Please tell me you think about it, too, _I begged silently.

Sirius didn't comply. He just stared at me, saying nothing.

"Every time I see you, I think about that day. Every time someone says your name, I think about that day," I continued. "I can't stop thinking about it. It's like I-"

"I get it, alright?" spat Sirius. "I get it."

_You do?_ I thought to myself.

"You don't have to remind me of _that day_," Sirius said with a sour expression. "I thought I was doing a pretty swell job of _not_ reminding you of it. Merlin knows I've tried to keep away from you, so you don't even have to think about it. I've tried, Remus. But if that's not good enough . . . if it's that hard for you to forget, then you don't ever have to come around again. I'll understand."

Sirius was glaring at me angrily.

_No, Sirius. No, that's not what I mean,_ I thought, but the words wouldn't come. His grey eyes were cold and angry now. His arms were crossed in front of his chest. He downed the last drop of firewhiskey from his glass and marched up the stairs. I could hear the door to his room slam shut behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

I was standing in the kitchen alone, shell shocked by his words. I took a gulp of liquid courage and raced up the stairs after him. His door was shut. It was locked.

"Alohamora," I whispered, tapping the handle with my wand.

The door swung open, and Sirius was lying on the bed, facing away from me. He didn't speak or stir when I entered the room. I stepped over to the bed cautiously and then sunk down beside him. My hand reached out to stroke his back, but I pulled it back hesitantly.

_Damn it, Remus, touch him!_ I thought. _You've wanted to touch him for almost twenty years now, so do it!_

My fingertips grazed his shoulder blade, feeling the soft material of his shirt. I saw him stop breathing. I grew more courageous. Summoning every ounce of Gryffindor courage, I let my hand caress his back, his strong arm, even the sensitive place where his neck met his shoulder. I kicked off my shoes and stretched out on the bed behind him, laying close to him, but not so close that we were touching. My erection was starting to stir again.

_Do it, Remus. Just do it, you cad! You coward!_

I lifted his long, black hair with a shaking hand and placed a very gentle, very hesitant kiss on the back of his neck. Sirius shifted. I could practically feel the wheels in his head turning, the indecision in his heart of what to do next. He rolled over to face me.

"What was that for?" he whispered.

Our faces were inches apart. The grey eyes were soft now. I sighed.

"I think about that day all the time, Sirius," I began again, speaking volumes with a quiet tone. "I think about it because I made a mistake."

Sirius didn't respond. I caressed his dark hair with my fingertips and brought my lips to his. He met my kiss tentatively, as though he wasn't sure whether I was pulling his chain or not. But when my hand drifted to his hips, pulling him close against me, he moaned into my mouth. That sound was heavenly.

He seemed to accept my kissing him, accept that it wasn't his imagination. It wasn't a dream or a trick. Sirius rolled on top of me and it was my turn to moan. Just as I'd pictured it. I wrapped my legs around his hips and let him kiss me deeply. My fingers were holding his hair out of his face. His hands were exploring my body sensually. My skin was on fire. I could feel my erection pressing against him, and I could feel his against me.

I pulled off his shirt and let my hands roam the hard muscles of his upper body. He was tattooed, and branded from Azkaban. My lips touched his chest of their own accord. Everything was happening naturally, instinctually now. I wondered how I could have ever touched a woman. I hoped he was wondering the same.

His hands tugged at my shirt and I lifted my back from the bed to let him pull it over my head. His fingers fumbled with the button of my trousers. And when he pulled them down off my legs, my erection sprung into view. Gazing down at him, I had never felt so turned on in my life. His mouth was inches from my aching cock. I whimpered softly in anticipation.

Sirius's hands caressed my thin, lithe form. I was nothing like him. He was all muscle, strength, and I was practically a waif. I lacked the definition that made Sirius so damn sexy. I was just about to begin feeling truly self-conscious when I felt his warm mouth wrap around me.

An unintelligible grunt left my throat. Merlin, looking down at him, his dark hair partially masking his face, it nearly ended right then. Those perfect lips around my cock. Those gorgeous eyes, dancing with lust, staring back at me. His hand cupped my balls gently. His tongue swirled around the head and trailed up and down the shaft, alternating between the smooth underside and the rough top of his tongue as he licked. I took his black hair in my hand.

"Sirius, I'm about to come," I groaned.

His fervor only increased. His mouth sucked gently as he bobbed up and down. I could only watch in awe as I felt my release take me. He swallowed, never removing himself from my erection as I came into his mouth. I exhaled with a hiss and closed my eyes, and then I fell back onto the bed.

Sirius draped himself on top of me, his fingers tracing circles on my thin chest. I took his hand in mine, resting for a moment as I recovered. I felt his lips pressing tiny kisses on my neck.

"I'm so in love with you, Remus," he whispered. "I always have been."

My heart soared.

"I'm so sorry, Sirius," I told him. "I've wanted to tell you for so many years. I've never stopped thinking about you, about that kiss."

I turned my head to gaze into his eyes.

"I love you," I said.

Sirius kissed me again, and I could taste the last remnants on myself on his tongue. His hand dragged through my hair. His fingers traced the faint scars on my body. I unbuckled his belt. His slid his trousers down his legs. I pulled Sirius on top of me and held him close.

"I want to feel you inside of me," I whispered.

"Remus, are you sure?" asked Sirius quietly.

I nodded, closing my eyes. Sirius groaned.

"I've never been with a man," I said.

"Nor have I," Sirius replied with a grin. "I was saving that for you."

I kissed him. Sirius reached for his wand on the night table. My hand stroked up and down on his cock as he murmured a spell. I could feel slick, cool lubrication between my legs. I felt it coat his cock. I closed my eyes and braced myself. I had no idea what to expect. Sirius's mouth found mine and kissed me lovingly as his hand guided his cock to me.

It was slow at first.

"Relax," he hissed into my ear.

I tried to relax. It took several slow, shallow thrusts for Sirius to even push himself halfway into me. It didn't hurt, but it was uncomfortable. Unusual. Sirius let out a hissing breath next to my ear.

"Merlin, you're so fucking tight," he said.

I relaxed as best I could, my mind focused only on the beautiful man on top of me, and how much I loved him. How I could never admit that I did. That all of these years I had been denied this, denied making love to him. I felt Sirius slide all the way inside of me. A groan left my throat.

"Are you alright?" whispered Sirius.

"More than alright," I replied.

Sirius grinned at me, that sexy grin that always made me weak in the knees. I'd seen him send that grin in the direction of so many women, and now he was grinning at me. I kissed him as he began to pick up his pace. It was an odd feeling, having him thrusting into me. A feeling of fullness I was beginning to rather enjoy. And what I enjoyed most was the heavenly expression on Sirius's face. His eyes were closed, his breath was ragged. I could tell his orgasm wasn't far off.

"I love you, Sirius," I whispered again.

"I love you, Moony," he answered, his eyes shut tight.

I could feel his cock tense inside me. I saw his face shift to that expression of ultimate release. He groaned in pleasure and thrust slowly, two, three more times, and then he collapsed onto me.

I stroked his back lightly as he regained his breath. Finally, he rolled over, pulling me against him. He kissed my sandy blonde hair. I listened to his heart beating inside his chest. I wrapped my arms around Sirius, my Sirius.

The man I loved.


End file.
